Sunday, October 21, 2012

31 Days to a Happy Marriage: Day 21: Agreement

Two people.  Two different opinions.  Two different ways of doing things.  Two different outlooks.


How does it happen?

Sometimes not very easily, other times you don't even realize you're agreeing because it just happens.

As a married couple it's super important to be in agreement.  So, how do you go about deciding what to do in certain situations...specifically when you don't agree?

If you're a wife and ever had the "submit to your husband" verse thrown in your face, many times decision making in your marriage can rub you the wrong way.  I love what Dr. Gary Chapman says about this...

“The problem is that we’ve gone outside the Bible and used non-biblical models, for headship,” Chapman says. “For example, we use military models. The husband is the general. Or we use business models. We say the husband is the CEO. But the biblical model is Jesus.”

You know, Jesus loved the church so much He gave His life for it.  Jesus is saying to husbands...don't be a dictator over your wife.  He's her so much you'd give your life for her.

As a wife, when I know that Jeremiah loves me and would lay down his life (or what he wants) for me, it's easier to yield to what he may think is best if we're not in agreement.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 tells us that, "Two are better than one."

When it comes to making decisions in your marriage, it's better to both come together, share your ideas and thoughts, and to not make a decision quickly or under pressure.  

There are many times when I've brought up something and Jeremiah has said, "Why don't we think about this." Or, "Not now."  While I was probably aggravated in the beginning (because I'm awesome, and there's never anything wrong with my ideas...ha!), I'm so grateful that Jeremiah considered me and our family enough to wait about making decisions in haste.

In the same light, I know there are times Jeremiah is so glad I said, "Let's think about it this way." Or, "I don't know how well that would work in this situation."

When you know your spouse is for you it's easy to be flexible and compromise...and to hear, "No."

You can always disagree without being disagreeable.

Husbands, you have a treasure in your wife.  If she's not sure about a decision you're wanting to make, slow down and listen to her.  She loves you and doesn't want to see you hurt or your family in confusion.

Wives, you have a treasure in your husband.  The buck stops with him, and a good husband realizes that.  If he's saying no to something you're wanting to say yes to, give him the shadow of a doubt that he's really caring about the big picture.

Find a list with links to the other posts in this series here.*