I've been contemplating my words lately, and the words of others, specifically about spouses. I've seen and heard countless times spouses speaking poorly and downright horribly about one another. And, the only thing I can think of when I see (on facebook, mostly) or hear this is, "You're the idiot who picked them!" I don't care what s/he did...YOU look like the fool when you talk badly about the other one publicly.
The scripture tells us that the TONGUE has the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21). So, when we speak negatively about things in our life...we are creating DEATH! When we speak positively about things...we are creating LIFE! It's. That. Simple. Really. It. Is.
Does that mean we don't deal with the reality of matters? Absolutely not. That just means when you're dealing with the reality of matters you need to speak life over them not death.
Let me give you a real life facebook example. One of my fb friends shared over a status post that his wife had committed adultery. I put it a lot more nicely than he did (you can imagine). So, of course, the comments to the post were HORRIBLE, wife-bashing comments. Well, a couple of months later, I noticed the couple was back together and happy. I've learned from the wisdom of others....we have the grace to forgive our spouses while our parents (especially) and friends do not. Keep issues about your marriage within your marriage or seek professional help. Facebook is NOT the place to air your dirty laundry or emotional posts.
Let me add this in while I'm on the topic. NEVER. EVER. NEVER. EVER. speak badly about your spouse (or ex-spouse) to your children! Think about it folks...children get their identity from their parents. If you're speaking badly about their father or mother to them, they take that on as their own identity. If you're divorced, that's your issue...not your child's issue. They are not your therapist and should never be put in that position. Keep your words positive about your ex to your children or don't say anything at all...I don't care if your child is 4 or 40. If you have spoken badly about your spouse to your child, ask them to forgive you and never do it again.
Again, you're either creating life or death through your words. Speak life over your spouse. Praise them. Love them like you committed to do. Love them especially when they are unlovable. Quit being so self-centered that it's all about them pleasing you. Encourage them. Support them. EVEN WHEN IT'S HARD! It's worth it. I guarantee it...their actions will start matching up to your words. It's Bible.